6 things I do as a Mum in my 40s (and as a Pilates teacher)

There's a version of fitness we're all supposed to want. The early alarms, the hour-long sessions, the perfectly lit workout videos, the satisfying collapse at the end that somehow signals success. For years, I thought that was just what commitment looked like.

Then life — real life — got in the way. Kids, work, the relentless pace of a full household. And I had a choice: keep chasing a version of fitness that didn't fit my life, or rewrite the rules entirely.

So I rewrote the rules. And it's made me a better Pilates teacher, a more consistent mover, and honestly — a better mum. Here's exactly what I've stopped doing, and why.

1. Working out to the point of exhaustion

The idea that a workout only "counts" if you're completely knackered afterwards is one of the most damaging myths in fitness. I need to parent after I exercise. I need to work, cook, show up, be present. A session that leaves me depleted doesn't serve my life — it works against it.

The goal of every session I do and every class I teach is to leave you feeling better than when you started. Energised. Capable. Ready for the rest of your day. Not wiped out.

2. Forcing myself to do hour-long workouts

Sixty-minute sessions are a genuine luxury — lovely when they happen, but rare in real life. And for a long time, if I couldn't do it I wouldn't exercise at all. If I couldn't do the full thing, what was the point?

The point, it turns out, is the ten minutes you do show up for. The twenty-minute session squeezed in before school pick-up. Done consistently, with quality and intention, shorter sessions are not just better than nothing — they're genuinely, really effective. I've seen it in my own body and in my clients. Quality over duration, every single time.

3. Making every workout Insta-worthy

There are days when everything clicks — the light is great, the clothes match, the session flows beautifully. And then there are days when I'm in my pyjamas doing calf raises while the kettle boils, with the dog weaving between my legs.

Both are fab. Both count. Our view of what fitness should look like — the perfect scenario, the perfect time — can quietly become another barrier, another standard to meet before you allow yourself to begin. My boys, now 11 and 13, have grown up watching me move in the middle of the chaos at home. And now they have their own daily fitness routine. That, to me, fills my heart with joy.

4. Rushing through movements

When time is short, I'm tempted to just tick the workout off the list and move on. I go through the motions and then realise that although I've done it, I don't feel any better for it. I've just rushed through the movements whilst my brain has been elsewhere.

The real magic in Pilates — is in slowing down. Breathing properly. Feeling what's actually happening in your body. Moving with genuine intention rather than just completing repetitions. Even five minutes practised this way leaves me feeling clearer, calmer, and more physically connected than twenty minutes of rushing ever will.

5. Ignoring what my body is telling me

My body at 43 is not my body at 23. Not worse, not diminished, not something to mourn. Just different. Different needs, different recovery times, different signals worth paying attention to.

For most of my life, I pushed through those signals. Tired? Push harder. Sore? Keep going. Now I pay attention. I honour what my body needs each day rather than bulldozing it with a plan I feel like I should do. That shift — from pushing through to tuning in — is one of the most powerful things I've done for my long-term health.

6. Beating myself up for missing workouts

Half term happened. A difficult week arrived. Life, in all its unpredictable fullness, gets in the way of the mat. And for years, that would have set off me off in a tizz — guilt, the feeling that I'd let myself down, the sense that I needed to punish myself back into shape.

I refuse to do that anymore. Missing workouts is not failure. It's just life. The only thing that matters is coming back — no drama, no punishment, no starting from zero. Just getting back on the mat when you can, with the same kindness you'd offer anyone else.

Progress over perfection. Always.

This is what sustainable fitness looks like

Not punishing. Not perfect. Not dependent on the right conditions, the right kit, or a free hour in your diary. Just honest, consistent movement that fits the life you're actually living — and leaves you feeling genuinely good in it.

This is what I teach. It's what I practice. And it's what, in my experience, actually changes things for the long term.

If you're looking for Pilates built around exactly this approach, the Online Studio is open and waiting for you — flexible sessions, real foundations, and a community that gets it.

Click the link above for all the details. 💚